A plain-language glossary | Clare Burke Psychotherapy

EMDR

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a structured, trauma-focused therapy that helps the brain reprocess distressing memories so they feel less raw and less present in everyday life.

EMDR is a way of gently returning to a difficult memory while your attention is also held in the present, often through a series of eye movements or another form of steady, left-right ‘bilateral’ stimulation. Over time this can help a memory that still feels vivid and close begin to settle into the past, where it belongs, so it holds less charge in the here and now.

EMDR is recommended by NICE, the body that guides NHS care, as a trauma-focused therapy for post-traumatic stress in adults (guideline NG116, 2018). We would always begin slowly, making sure you feel resourced and steady first, and it is always your choice how far and how fast we go.

Attachment-informed EMDR

Attachment-informed EMDR is a gentler adaptation of EMDR that gives extra care to early relationships and to the sense of safety between us, so we can work with wounds that began very early or run very deep.

Some of what we carry does not come from a single event but from patterns laid down early, in our first relationships, before we had words for any of it. Attachment-informed EMDR keeps the reprocessing of standard EMDR but slows it right down and pays close attention to the relationship between us, so that you have a felt sense of safety and company as we work.

This way of working can be kinder where trauma is early, relational or long-standing. We build steadiness and inner ‘resources’ first, and we go only at a pace that feels manageable for you. It is always your choice, and you are welcome to pause at any point.

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy based on the idea that the mind is naturally made up of different ‘parts’, and that underneath them all is a calm, wise Self that can help those parts feel heard and less burdened.

Most of us know the experience of feeling more than one way at once: a part of me wants to reach out, another part wants to hide. IFS takes this seriously and gently. Rather than trying to silence or fix any part of you, we get to know each one with curiosity and warmth, trusting that every part is trying, in its own way, to help.

IFS is not currently listed in NICE guidance, and I want to be honest about that. It was added to the United States’ SAMHSA registry of evidence-based practices in 2015 and has a growing research base and wide awareness, including through Richard Schwartz’s book ‘No Bad Parts’ (2021). Many people find it a compassionate way to understand themselves.

Parts

In therapy, ‘parts’ are the different inner voices, feelings or younger versions of ourselves that make up our inner world, each one holding its own worries, hopes or memories.

When we speak of a ‘part’ of you, we simply mean one of the many sides of your inner life: the part that pushes you to keep going, the part that feels small and frightened, the part that would rather not feel anything at all. None of these is the whole of you, and none of them is bad.

In Internal Family Systems we treat parts as though they each have good intentions, even the ones whose behaviour causes us difficulty. Getting to know them, rather than pushing them away, often helps them soften. It is unhurried work, and always at your pace.

Self

In Internal Family Systems, the ‘Self’ is the calm, compassionate core in each of us, the part that can listen to all our other parts with warmth and without being overwhelmed.

Alongside our many parts, IFS holds that there is in each of us a steady centre, often called the Self. It has qualities many people recognise when they feel most themselves: calm, curiosity, compassion and a quiet confidence. It is not something we have to build or earn. It is already there, sometimes simply hidden behind parts that have had to work very hard to protect us.

Much of this work is about helping you meet your parts from that place of Self, so they no longer have to carry so much alone. You do not need to feel it strongly for us to begin. We can take our time.

Protectors and exiles

In Internal Family Systems, ‘exiles’ are the young, vulnerable parts of us that carry painful feelings, and ‘protectors’ are the parts that work hard to keep those feelings, and us, safe.

Sometimes the parts of us that hold the deepest hurt, often young and tender, get pushed out of sight so we can carry on; in IFS these are gently called ‘exiles’. Around them stand the ‘protectors’, the parts that keep watch: some by planning, pleasing or staying busy, others by stepping in more firmly when we feel overwhelmed.

I view all of this not as something wrong with you, but as signs of how you have coped in the circumstances life has given you. As the protectors come to trust that the exiles can be cared for, they often relax, and the whole inner system can settle. This happens slowly, and only ever with your agreement.

Bilateral stimulation

Bilateral stimulation is the gentle, rhythmic left-right sensory input used in EMDR, such as following a movement with your eyes, soft tapping or alternating sounds, that seems to help the brain reprocess difficult memories.

During EMDR, while you bring a difficult memory to mind, I will guide a steady left-right rhythm: your eyes following my hand or a moving light, a soft tap alternating from side to side, or gentle tones. This is what we mean by ‘bilateral’, meaning both sides, stimulation.

No one can say with complete certainty why this helps, though it may be a little like what happens naturally in dreaming sleep. What many people notice is that, held in the present by the rhythm, a memory can begin to feel less overwhelming. You stay in charge throughout, and we can stop whenever you need.

Reprocessing

Reprocessing is the way a distressing memory can shift during EMDR, moving from feeling raw and present to feeling settled in the past, often with a kinder or calmer sense of ourselves within it.

A memory that has not been fully digested can stay strangely alive, so that a sight, a sound or a feeling brings it flooding back as though it were happening now. ‘Reprocessing’ is the name for the gradual settling that can happen in EMDR, where the memory is allowed to move through and take its place in the past.

Nothing is erased, and nothing about what happened is undone. What often changes is how it sits within you: less charged, less present, sometimes carrying a gentler belief about yourself. We go at your pace, and it is always your choice what we work with.

Art psychotherapy

Art psychotherapy is a form of therapy, offered by an HCPC-registered practitioner, in which making images or objects alongside talking gives another way to express and understand what can be hard to put into words.

In art psychotherapy we might use paint, pencils, clay or collage, not to make anything ‘good’ or finished, but because the hands and the image can sometimes reach what words cannot. You do not need any experience or skill, and you are always welcome simply to talk instead.

Art psychotherapist is a protected title in the UK, regulated by the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC), and the professional body is the British Association of Art Therapists (BAAT). Whatever we make stays yours, and we only ever explore it together in ways that feel comfortable to you.

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is a term for the lasting effects of trauma that was repeated or ongoing, often early in life or within relationships, which can affect not only memory and safety but also how we feel about ourselves and others.

Where ordinary post-traumatic stress often follows a single event, ‘complex’ post-traumatic stress tends to grow from harm that went on over time, especially when we were young or when there was no safe person to turn to. As well as difficult memories, it can leave us struggling with strong feelings, a harsh inner voice, or a sense of never quite feeling safe with others.

I do not see this as a disorder that defines you, but as an understandable way you learned to survive what you lived through. Approaches such as attachment-informed EMDR and IFS can help you gently work with it, slowly and with a great deal of care. There is no rush.

Window of tolerance

The window of tolerance is the zone in which we feel steady enough to think and feel at the same time, neither overwhelmed and flooded, nor shut down and numb.

Each of us has a range within which we can manage what we are feeling and still stay present. Inside this ‘window’ we can be moved by something without being swept away by it. When we are pushed beyond it, we may tip into feeling overwhelmed and panicky, or in the other direction into feeling flat, numb or far away.

Trauma can make that window narrower, so we reach the edges more easily. Much of our work together is about noticing where your edges are and gently widening the window, so that difficult feelings become more bearable. We never try to push you beyond what feels safe.

Attachment

Attachment is the emotional bond we form with those who care for us, beginning in infancy, which shapes how safe we feel with others and how we seek comfort and connection throughout life.

From our earliest days we learn, without ever being taught in words, what to expect from closeness: whether reaching out brings comfort, whether it feels safer to manage alone, or whether connection feels unpredictable. These early patterns of ‘attachment’ quietly shape how we relate as adults, in friendship, in love and in therapy.

When those first relationships were frightening or uncertain, it makes complete sense that closeness can feel complicated now. This is not a flaw in you. Attachment-informed ways of working pay careful attention to safety and trust between us, so that new and gentler experiences of connection become possible, at your pace.

A few words, in plain language