Relational trauma therapy
Attachment-informed EMDR
Attachment-informed EMDR, also known as attachment-focused EMDR, is a gentle, relationship-centred adaptation of standard EMDR therapy that uses attachment, rather than a single traumatic incident, as its main lens, making it well suited to complex, developmental and relational trauma.
If your difficulties began early in life, or built up quietly over many years rather than in one identifiable moment, ordinary trauma work can sometimes feel too much, too fast. Attachment-informed EMDR, which you may also see called attachment-focused EMDR, is a slower and more relational way of working that keeps your sense of safety at the centre. Rather than starting from a single event, we begin with the patterns of connection and protection you learned early on, and how they still shape the way you feel today.
Attachment-informed EMDR is a refinement of EMDR developed in the UK by Mark Brayne, building on the Attachment-Focused EMDR pioneered by the American psychologist Laurel Parnell. It stays fully compatible with standard, NICE-recommended EMDR, but it shifts the emphasis: attachment becomes the lens through which we understand your history, and we spend real time building inner resources and a felt sense of safety before approaching anything painful. Many people who have found more directive therapies overwhelming find this pace easier to trust.
Who it can help
- Complex trauma and complex PTSD (C-PTSD), where difficult experiences began in childhood or continued over a long period
- Developmental and relational trauma: growing up feeling unseen, unsafe, or unable to rely on the people who were meant to care for you
- Deep-seated mistrust of others, or a sense that closeness itself does not feel safe
- Long-standing self-loathing and shame that can feel like it belongs to who you are, rather than to something that happened to you
- A nervous system that feels permanently on guard: hypervigilance, being easily startled, or struggling to feel calm
- Numbness, or feeling disconnected and cut off from yourself and from other people
- Nightmares, flashbacks or intrusive memories linked to earlier experiences
- Times when more structured or directive therapy has felt too exposing, or moved too fast for you
What a session is like
We would not rush into difficult memories. Early sessions focus on getting to know you and building what we call resources: internal and imagined sources of strength, calm and safety that you can draw on at any point. When you feel ready, we use bilateral stimulation, which might be gentle left-right eye movements, tapping, or sounds, to help your mind reprocess old experiences so that they feel less raw and less present. You stay in control throughout, and we can pause or slow down whenever you need to. You do not have to narrate every detail of what happened for the work to help.
Attachment-informed EMDR reprocessing is usually done in a 90-minute session, which gives us enough time to settle, work and close gently. I offer this work in person near Ashburton in Devon, and online across the UK and internationally. We always begin with a free 20-minute introductory conversation, so you can get a feel for how I work and ask anything you need to before deciding. Where it fits, and always with your agreement, I may weave in Internal Family Systems or creative, art-based work, at a pace that feels manageable for you.
The evidence
EMDR is recommended by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) as a trauma-focused therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder (guideline NG116, published 2018). Attachment-informed EMDR is an adaptation of this same core approach and remains compliant with standard EMDR: it applies EMDR’s established method to complex and relational trauma, with a stronger emphasis on safety, resourcing and the therapeutic relationship.
I offer attachment-informed EMDR in person near Ashburton in Devon, and online across the UK and internationally, always starting with a free 20-minute introductory conversation.
Common questions
What is the difference between attachment-informed EMDR and attachment-focused EMDR?
They are very closely related. Attachment-focused EMDR is the approach developed by the American psychologist Laurel Parnell. Attachment-informed EMDR is the UK refinement of it developed by Mark Brayne. In practice the two terms are often used to mean much the same thing, and both describe a gentler, more relational way of doing EMDR that suits complex and developmental trauma. I am trained in attachment-informed EMDR.
Is attachment-informed EMDR suitable for childhood or complex trauma?
It is designed with exactly this in mind. Where standard EMDR often begins from a single incident, attachment-informed EMDR uses your early relationships and attachment patterns as the starting point. That tends to fit better when trauma was ongoing, began in childhood, or is bound up with how safe you have felt with other people.
I have found other therapies overwhelming. Would this feel different?
Many people who have found more directive or fast-paced therapies too much find this approach easier to manage. We spend real time building safety and inner resources first, we go at your pace, and you stay in control of when and how we approach anything painful. Nothing is forced.
How is this different from standard EMDR?
It uses the same underlying EMDR method and bilateral stimulation, and stays fully compatible with standard EMDR. The difference is emphasis: more attention to the therapeutic relationship, more preparation and resourcing before reprocessing, and attachment rather than a single event as the main lens. You can read more on my EMDR page.
Do I have to talk through everything that happened?
No. EMDR does not require you to describe every detail of your experiences out loud. Much of the reprocessing happens internally, and you can share as much or as little as feels right for you.
The first step
A free 20-minute conversation
It’s very hard to tell from reading a website! I offer a free introductory 20-minute conversation so we can meet, and you can see how it feels to talk with me.